"Codependency" is a word many of us have heard used but are not always sure as to what it means. A codependent person or, said another way, enabler is generally a  personality style characterized by passivity, feelings of low self-worth, and a need to constantly “help” others, especially one’s primary partner and is often seen where there is the abuse of drugs and alcohol in a relationship. This type of person would usually put aside their own needs in order to try to meet the needs of another person or other people.They may report how much they dislike this role, however for many codependents they are actually gaining a sense of importance, relieving loneliness, and/or avoiding working on their own issues and needs. Some enablers report being chronically unhappy, anxious, or addicted to drugs or alcohol themselves. In a nutshell, codependent persons or enablers allow for disfunctional behaviours to continue in others and themselves even though it would seem that their aim is to help.

Accoriding to www.goodtherapy.org the characteristics of codependency may include:

1. Consistently focusing on others needs even at your own expense.
2. Being unable to receive help from others; feeling uneasy when others focus their attention on you.
3. An sense of self based entirely on being a "helper.”
4. Much of your time and energy spent taking care of someone who abuses drugs or alcohol.
5. Unable to be alone or not in an intimate relationship.
6. Feeling responsible anytime someone close to you suffers.
7. Seeming very competent on the outside but actually feeling quite needy, helpless, or numb.
8. Having experienced abuse or emotional neglect as a child, or having grown up with an addicted or alcoholic parent or parent.
9. Rarely expressing your true thoughts, needs or feelings because you fear they would displease others, and perhaps taking pride in this fact.

To read more articles on this subject go to www.goodtherapy.org.